Love & Logic for Being On Time

Last week my oldest daughter woke up and was running super slow all morning. At 8:38 I was on the phone and noticed she was still sitting on the couch. I asked her if she was watching the clock and she said she was. I reminded her that she needs to leave between 8:35-40 and she might want to get her shoes, coat, and bag on if she was going to make it to school on time. She told me she didnt want to go. I told her I was busy that day and if she wanted to stay home she would need to pay a baby sitter to watch her and she would have to stay in her room all day. She agreed and ran down stairs to find her money she earned from the previous week.

She came up bummed, “Mom I dont have enough” (she spent it already)

Me, “Oh thats a bummer honey dont worry there will be more on Friday. In the mean time would you like to wear your boots or shoes to school?”

B, “I dont want to go”

Me, “I understand honey. Would you rather wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “Neither”

At this time I realized I needed to focus my sole attention on her and this situation in order to not get mad or frustrated, in order to stay calm, so I told the person I was chatting with I needed to go but would call them back in a bit.

Me, “Bailie honey your late for school now so may want to go quickly so you don’t get in trouble. Would you like to wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “Neither”

Me, “I understand honey would you rather wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “Neither”

Me, “I understand honey would you rather wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “Ugggg you choose!”

Me, “I am wearing shoes today. Would you rather wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “I want YOU to choose!”

Me, “I cant choose your shoes for you. Would you rather wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “uuuug fine shoes”

At this point its 8:52 and school has started 2 minutes prior. As she walks out the door I say, “Bye honey I love you and I hope you have a great day” and she replies, “You too mom” in a not so cheerful voice.

So immediately I call the school. I ask the lady on the phone what happens when kids are late for school. She says, “well they get a tardy slip… so nothing really” I asked if there was any other repercussions for the children. Shes said, “Well after so many the parents get a letter home …” then after a moment of pause I could hear the realization in her voice as she says, “Its more like the parents get in trouble than the kids” with a faint giggle following. So I tell her thats ok I can understand that but that Bailie was on her way to school now and she left late on purpose and I want her to understand the importance of being on time. That it is HER responsibility to get out the door on time and to get to school on time because when she is older it will be her responsibility to get places on time, that she wont always have a parent to shuffle her out the door. I want her to understand now rather than later, that there are consequences to being late.

The lady at the school then said, “Well we did have a girl a while back who was late a lot so she stayed in the principles office during recess each time” I said that would be perfect! (Can I just say how happy I am that they were willing to work with me on this one! Its far better she learns by loosing recess now than her job later on it life).

So the next day she was out the door right on time! I was please but it wasn’t until today that I realized the lesson was learned. That the consequences taught her far better than my nagging could have! She was upset with me for not allowing her to use the stairwell because she left the gate open at the top (that’s a whole other story and Ill spare you there for now) so I let her know that she would need to go around the house if she wanted to get her things for school. Now we went through this gate scenario a couple weeks ago and it took her an hour and a half before she would walk around the house to get upstairs. I was fully prepared for that again, but this time with in 2 minutes she was going out the back door and coming around to the front. She very nicely grabbed her things and hugged her sister and said good bye for the day. I started to ask her something and she says, “Mom I have to go quickly its 8:40! I cant be late I don’t want to go to the office like yesterday” I said, “What do you mean you left early yesterday why did you have to go to the office?” For which she confessed, “Ya but I was being a slow poke. I was late and had to miss my recesses so today I am going to run!”

I didn’t have to beg and plea for her to get out the door and to school on time. I didnt have to yell and fuss to teach her the importance of not being tardy. The school stuck to the repercussions they agreed to give her when she’s late and the consequences taught the lesson for me!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s