After Bailie turned 3 years old in November 2008 we went off birth control in hopes of conceiving a baby right away. Unfortunately God had other plans for our life. Month by Month went by with negative pregnancy tests when in May 2009 Aaron was deployed with the military. He came back for his R&R (2 week Deployment vacation known as Rest and Relaxation) in November 2009 and the day after he left I finally got a positive pregnancy test! We were elated, unfortunately that baby a week later went to Heaven. Devastation took over me, closely accompanied by the darkest place Id ever been in. Aaron was gone across the world and I had to allow myself to grieve the loss of a child. This was also when I allowed myself to grieve the loss of another child from 2 years prior for the first time. I was told by many that I shouldnt let the, “baby thing” upset me, that I should have “gotten over it” faster than I did. They didnt understand that just because the person was smaller didnt mean the grief was. It took me a while in this dark place I had taken myself before I realized that the only one who could help me was The Lord. I needed Him to get through it, and he delivered me. Aaron came home again, for good this time, in April 2010. We spent month after month, once again without being able to conceive another child. We seeked the help of a fertility specialist who discovered I wasnt ovulating and put me on meds to help. I was only allowed to be on these meds for 6 months and unfortunately our time ran out. Since we are on a military post drs come and go quickly. With such a high turnover rate its hard to find anyone who can spend enough time with you to figure anything out. Thankfully on our third dr we discovered that I had a large cyst on my left ovary, larger than the ovary itself. 6 weeks later they found another large cyst on my uterus. Immediately, in November 2010, they scheduled surgery to remove them. While they were in there they discovered that my right ovary, the one that was supposed to have been just fine, was engulfed in a tumor. The 2 cysts, the tumor, and my right ovary were removed. When I woke up I thought my husband was telling me a sick joke when he said they found a tumor and had to remove my whole right ovary. I didnt know it then but this was a blessing in disguise. We were told that all fertility apts would be put on hold for 6 months while my body regulated itself and to see if after all the bad stuff was out we were able to conceive on our own. If not then we would move on to IVF in March 2011. As February approached, our last month on our own, we joked that if we were going to get pregnant any month that February would be it. (Putting our due date in November right with him, our daughter, and 12 other people in my family). Low and behold in our very last month on our own we conceived and our guessed due date is in November! God is so GOOD!

Side-note of irony: My youngest, older brother and I (Im the very youngest in our family) were 6 years apart. I swore up and down I would never have my children that far apart, but instead 2 or 3 years… Our baby girl is due almost right at our daughters 6th birthday. “We plan, God laughs” 🙂

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