Tag Archive | mom

Love & Logic for Being On Time

Last week my oldest daughter woke up and was running super slow all morning. At 8:38 I was on the phone and noticed she was still sitting on the couch. I asked her if she was watching the clock and she said she was. I reminded her that she needs to leave between 8:35-40 and she might want to get her shoes, coat, and bag on if she was going to make it to school on time. She told me she didnt want to go. I told her I was busy that day and if she wanted to stay home she would need to pay a baby sitter to watch her and she would have to stay in her room all day. She agreed and ran down stairs to find her money she earned from the previous week.

She came up bummed, “Mom I dont have enough” (she spent it already)

Me, “Oh thats a bummer honey dont worry there will be more on Friday. In the mean time would you like to wear your boots or shoes to school?”

B, “I dont want to go”

Me, “I understand honey. Would you rather wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “Neither”

At this time I realized I needed to focus my sole attention on her and this situation in order to not get mad or frustrated, in order to stay calm, so I told the person I was chatting with I needed to go but would call them back in a bit.

Me, “Bailie honey your late for school now so may want to go quickly so you don’t get in trouble. Would you like to wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “Neither”

Me, “I understand honey would you rather wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “Neither”

Me, “I understand honey would you rather wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “Ugggg you choose!”

Me, “I am wearing shoes today. Would you rather wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “I want YOU to choose!”

Me, “I cant choose your shoes for you. Would you rather wear boots or shoes to school?”

B, “uuuug fine shoes”

At this point its 8:52 and school has started 2 minutes prior. As she walks out the door I say, “Bye honey I love you and I hope you have a great day” and she replies, “You too mom” in a not so cheerful voice.

So immediately I call the school. I ask the lady on the phone what happens when kids are late for school. She says, “well they get a tardy slip… so nothing really” I asked if there was any other repercussions for the children. Shes said, “Well after so many the parents get a letter home …” then after a moment of pause I could hear the realization in her voice as she says, “Its more like the parents get in trouble than the kids” with a faint giggle following. So I tell her thats ok I can understand that but that Bailie was on her way to school now and she left late on purpose and I want her to understand the importance of being on time. That it is HER responsibility to get out the door on time and to get to school on time because when she is older it will be her responsibility to get places on time, that she wont always have a parent to shuffle her out the door. I want her to understand now rather than later, that there are consequences to being late.

The lady at the school then said, “Well we did have a girl a while back who was late a lot so she stayed in the principles office during recess each time” I said that would be perfect! (Can I just say how happy I am that they were willing to work with me on this one! Its far better she learns by loosing recess now than her job later on it life).

So the next day she was out the door right on time! I was please but it wasn’t until today that I realized the lesson was learned. That the consequences taught her far better than my nagging could have! She was upset with me for not allowing her to use the stairwell because she left the gate open at the top (that’s a whole other story and Ill spare you there for now) so I let her know that she would need to go around the house if she wanted to get her things for school. Now we went through this gate scenario a couple weeks ago and it took her an hour and a half before she would walk around the house to get upstairs. I was fully prepared for that again, but this time with in 2 minutes she was going out the back door and coming around to the front. She very nicely grabbed her things and hugged her sister and said good bye for the day. I started to ask her something and she says, “Mom I have to go quickly its 8:40! I cant be late I don’t want to go to the office like yesterday” I said, “What do you mean you left early yesterday why did you have to go to the office?” For which she confessed, “Ya but I was being a slow poke. I was late and had to miss my recesses so today I am going to run!”

I didn’t have to beg and plea for her to get out the door and to school on time. I didnt have to yell and fuss to teach her the importance of not being tardy. The school stuck to the repercussions they agreed to give her when she’s late and the consequences taught the lesson for me!


Consequences Vs Punishment


I have been off Facebook this week and that has lead to two things. One I feel cut off from the world through 75% of my day. With my husband gone and having just had a new baby to balance with a toddler and older child I sometimes only leave the house twice a week; for Girl Scouts and Moms Group Tuesday evenings and to go to church on Sat or Sun. So online right now is my main connection to the world. Two I find I have more time, in my spare time, to do something I love; read! When the week is over and I go back to Facebook, I will have to make more time in my spare time to read and still virtually interact with people.

So what have I been reading this week? A book on having Large Families. Many large families have children close in age so I am learning a lot of great tips and tricks to make my day go so much smoother. The other thing Im reading, I posted about last week too, Parenting with Love and Logic. This book is literally changing our worlds! This chapter I am in right now has opened my eyes to so much. Its about the difference between punishments and consequences and how to handle them with empathy.

The author is talking about bed time. How he tried for years to teach his children about how important sleep was and that he would yell and shout to get them to go to bed and when they wouldn’t he would punish them with a spanking or taking away tv privileges or out of their sport events, etc. Then he said someone shared with him something so important. “You cant make a child go to sleep” He said he went upstairs and told his children he was sorry for meddling in their lives and that he was going to give them two rules for bedtime and leave it at that. 1. He and his wife did not want to see or hear from them after 8pm. They were more than welcome to be awake and in their rooms but they could not bother their parents. 2. Everyone in the house got up at 6.  (I already use this with Bailie because this was how my dad used to do it with me. After a certain age he stopped forcing bedtime but would make me get up no later than 7 on any given day. I was not allowed to sleep in or take naps. I learned the importance of sleep.) So he goes on to say that night his kids stayed up with their light on literally all night. When he got them up the next day they were tired and wanted to go back to bed and skip school, even claimed they were sick. He lovingly and empathetically said, “Well sure kids, that’s what happens to me too when I stay up too late. I bet it’s going to be a long day at school. Well, try to have as good of a day as you possibly can, under the circumstances. We’ll see you when you get home. Have a nice day.” and sent them on their way. When they got home they were dead tired and hardly made it through dinner when one of his children declared, “I think I’ll go to bed early” It took his child ONE NIGHT to learn a lesson he had been trying to teach them all for YEARS! 

Now like I said I already do this with bed time, but not because I was all insightful, but simply because thats how it was done with me. So I am pondering where else in her life I do this? Where do I possibly take away her chance to learn from the consequences (like being exhausted all day) by implementing punishments (like spanking or taking away a privilege)? Afterall, as an adult, noone takes away my computer or tv when I make mistakes or wont go to bed.  (More to come later after I ponder this further)


Feel free to check out my first post Who Owns THIS Problem

Homemade Deodorant

Not my picture, but mine looks the same! Blue deodorant case and all :-))

This is my second batch of homemade deodorant. This one I made differently because I wanted it to be more solid in the tube. Coconut oil has a tendency to melt at 77 degrees and in the summer in KY it doesn’t take long to hit that. So as I neared the end of my sometimes solid deodorant stick I went to the local farmers market and got a stick of beeswax!


  • 4 TB Coconut Oil
  • 2 TB Beeswax
  • 2 TB Baking Soda
  • 1 TB Corn Starch
  • Essential Oils (optional for scent)


In a small pot on LOW heat melt the coconut oil and beeswax (add your scent now if you choose to use one. I used 25 drops). Once its melted add in the baking soda and corn starch. Mix well and remove from heat. Pour into an old deodorant stick and leave to sit for 24 hrs. Pop the lid on and your ready to go!

Encouraging Childhood

I was sitting in my living room watch my daughter pretend to be a horse galloping through the utmost difficult level of cross country course speeding above the times of her friends. She was chatting away and talking to herself and she was having a great time!

It occurred to me then what an amazing imagination she has! When did my imagination go away? For the first time I realized that THAT was another part of loosing your childhood. What else do you lose as you leave childhood? Your sense of imagination. Your innocence. Your dreams to be whatever you want to be! It seems that all children at some point are astronauts, waiters, cooks, moms, dads, teachers, doctors, musicians, fire fighters, police, archeologists, museum experts, store owners, ice cream truck drivers, pro football players, baseball players, horse back riders, skiers, snow boarders, etc.

Most every little kid at some point in time is pretending to be exactly what they want to be when they grown up. And yet all those wonderful dreams eventually fade along with their imagination, innocence and complete playfulness! Even the ability to make new friends who are suddenly their very best friend in the whole word, anywhere they go. Im not sure why it has to be this way or why it is this way, but for some reason it just is. As a parent I want to encourage all of them as much as I can because before I know it my kids will be adults who no longer play pretend,  who will know about sex, love and hate, death, society problems, religious issues, political issues, parenting issues, law issues, and not everyone they ever meet will be their friend or even like them. Life will no longer be simple and silly. I wish that I could keep all that from happening but i cant, all I can do is enjoy and encourage who my children are right now.

Homemade Baby Oat Cereal

What you need:

  1. Steel Cut Oats (or orignal but NOT instant)
  2. Bender (or food processor)
  3. Storage Containers (one for dry and wet)
  4. 1/4 Measurng Cup
  5. 4oz Breastmilk (or formula)
  6. Sauce Pan
  7. Wisk
  8. Bowl
  9. Baby Spoon
  10. Bib
  11. and of course … the Baby!



1.Take 2 Cups Oats and blend to fine powder (or as many cups as you want to store) 
2. Pour powder into storage contaner for later.
3. Pour 4oz of Breastmilk (or formula) into sauce pan.
4. Add 1/4 Cup oat powder to sauce pan.
5. Wisk on medium heat for 10 minutes (Keep wisking to keep from clumbing)
6. Remove from heat and let cool (it will be thicker than when you started)


After your freshly homemade baby oat cereal is made you can pour it into a small bowl and break out the baby spoon!

This recipie I found online and is intended for babies between 4-6 months of age, or later. Your baby should be able to hold ther head well, sit with support, no longer have the urge to push things out of their mouth with their tounge, be interested in eating, and be able to make eye contact and smile. I found many different suggest when you do start new foods. We intend on feeding the same thing once every 4 days and will add a new food each month until we hit 8 months, takng our time and spacing things out. Afterall she is getting all the nutrition she needs already, so for now its just learning to eat. 🙂







A hand MUST accompany each spoonful!


Oh ya Im happy!


Before and After

<—— & ——>

(From a fun day of baby food, music, and dancing!)